Elizabeth May’s diabolical plan was tucked away in plain sight, in a tiny publication on Vancouver Island:
“What I want to be able to do is get better research and support and make it available to backbenchers who don’t get much help from their own parties.
‘There are lots of MPs in a parliamentary committee hearing, with an expert witness giving evidence, who have their chance to ask a question but they basically tread water. They’ve got nothing useful to say; the reason for that is they don’t have the resources to know the issue very well, they don’t want to look like buffoons but their party isn’t supporting them to be effective. So, our party can support them to be effective, but I can never take credit for that because that would ‘out’ somebody.”
The compliant media has been running cover for her since then, downplaying the plot:
“A single seat in Parliament isn’t much; it’s somewhat laughable to suggest, as she did on election night, that she’ll be able to use it to change Ottawa’s culture.”
But now the Government House Leader admits that May can hold the entire Parliament “hostage” by asking questions and submitting amendments to bills! Imagine the gall, in a place known for expediency and unanimous consent!?
Some of the compliant media let the secret slip, however. The cat’s out of the bag. They named May as Parliamentarian of the Year!
One morning this session, at the start of parliamentary business, Elizabeth May and Liberal MP Frank Valeriote ran into each other in the House of Commons. They had both been there late the night before for a debate. Valeriote apparently assumed that May had had the misfortune to be assigned a morning shift in the House. “He looked at me and he was so tired he forgot that I didn’t have somebody ordering me around,” May recalls. “He said, ‘Oh jeez, did you get House duty again?’ And I said, ‘Yeah, my leader’s such a bitch.’ ”
The joke, of course, is that Elizabeth May is her own leader. And the truth is that Elizabeth May doesn’t have House duty. Because, rather than putting in periodic shifts in the House of Commons, May is rarely anywhere else. The House of Commons is her office. “By the time you look at all the things that it’s possible to do as a right as an individual MP, I think the question isn’t why do I spend so much time in the House,” she says, “it’s why don’t other MPs spend time in the House?”
[Read in the key of satire.]