Elizabeth May’s Diabolical Plan to Change Canadian Politics

Elizabeth May’s diabolical plan was tucked away in plain sight, in a tiny publication on Vancouver Island:

“What I want to be able to do is get better research and support and make it available to backbenchers who don’t get much help from their own parties.
‘There are lots of MPs in a parliamentary committee hearing, with an expert witness giving evidence, who have their chance to ask a question but they basically tread water. They’ve got nothing useful to say; the reason for that is they don’t have the resources to know the issue very well, they don’t want to look like buffoons but their party isn’t supporting them to be effective. So, our party can support them to be effective, but I can never take credit for that because that would ‘out’ somebody.”

The compliant media has been running cover for her since then, downplaying the plot:

“A single seat in Parliament isn’t much; it’s somewhat laughable to suggest, as she did on election night, that she’ll be able to use it to change Ottawa’s culture.”

But now the Government House Leader admits that May can hold the entire Parliament “hostage” by asking questions and submitting amendments to bills! Imagine the gall, in a place known for expediency and unanimous consent!?

Some of the compliant media let the secret slip, however. The cat’s out of the bag. They named May as Parliamentarian of the Year!

One morning this session, at the start of parliamentary business, Elizabeth May and Liberal MP Frank Valeriote ran into each other in the House of Commons. They had both been there late the night before for a debate. Valeriote apparently assumed that May had had the misfortune to be assigned a morning shift in the House. “He looked at me and he was so tired he forgot that I didn’t have somebody ordering me around,” May recalls. “He said, ‘Oh jeez, did you get House duty again?’ And I said, ‘Yeah, my leader’s such a bitch.’ ”

The joke, of course, is that Elizabeth May is her own leader. And the truth is that Elizabeth May doesn’t have House duty. Because, rather than putting in periodic shifts in the House of Commons, May is rarely anywhere else. The House of Commons is her office. “By the time you look at all the things that it’s possible to do as a right as an individual MP, I think the question isn’t why do I spend so much time in the House,” she says, “it’s why don’t other MPs spend time in the House?”

[Read in the key of satire.]


6 responses to “Elizabeth May’s Diabolical Plan to Change Canadian Politics

  1. Please! Ms Elizabeth May, and the Green Party of Canada, should close their political operation down. The only thing the Green Party, are willing to do, is split the vote. Their environmental program is a shame, the work force would be unemployed, and taking long walks in the park. If she is so worried about the environment, give the girl a vacuum cleaner, and have her clean The House of Commons. But, I am not sure, she has the necessary skills to operate a vacuum cleaner. Captain Paul Watson, should take Ms Elizabeth May, back to sea. She can chase the last remaining stocks of cod fish, around the coast of Newfounland!

    Have a Merry Green Christmas, to The Green Party of Canada!

  2. I too have grown very weary of Elizabeth May and her party for ALL THE OXYGEN THEY SUCK OUT OF A ROOM, Without Honouring The Basic Value Proposition TO DELIVER Corresponding Value … !!

  3. In Canada there are very few politicians, worth the powder to blow them to hell. They lie, deceive, thieve, are corrupt, use dirty tactics, dirty politics, and they cheat to win.

    Elizabeth May was the only one who had the guts, to speak against Harper’s treachery. Selling the tar sands to China, plus giving China the resource jobs? Harper giving Red China the right to sue any Canadians, blocking China’s intrusions into Canada? The rest of the House were, useless, gutless wonders. They still are.

    This country reeks of putrid corruption. I was never going to vote in this corrupt country ever again. I am sick to death of trying to vote for the politician, that has told the least number of lies. However, when someone as corrupt as Harper gets into office, they immediately begin to lie like hell. The vast majority of Canadians say, Harper cheated to win the election. His good buddy Gordon Campbell, lied and cheated to win his elections too. He too gave BC’s resources and resource jobs to Communist China.

    My next vote will be for, keeping Harper out of office, no matter who that may be. Weird, voting to keep a politician out, rather than voting a politician in. Such is corruption in Canada.

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