Ford and Trump and Moe Peas In a Rotten Pod

That movie about the incapable political leadership from the future is actually already here, it won’t take 500 more years.

Ontario has their Harper-style Fake News now too https://twitter.com/OntarioNew…/status/1026965194243751936
Some of it is due to this bad man.

A host of the Ford videos, Lyndsey Vanstone, presents as a news reporter or anchor, and the Tweet says:

Buck-a-Beer is returning to Ontario! Remember the days of $1.00 beer in Ontario? Premier Ford does, and that’s why brewers across the province are being encouraged to take the ‘Buck-a-Beer Challenge.’

These are the depressingly stupid headlines from Canadian leadership, as reported by the very real news, National Observer:

Trump and Ford

Here are some other ideas for stupid political announcements:

  • ‘Feds to offer a Jock At Every Party’
  • ‘Trump to bring lead back to paint and gasoline so they work better’
    Make Paint Taste Great Again
  • ‘The Trudeau Liberals have conceded the 2019 election to the Scheer Conservatives, stating that Scheer does a much better job of gutting environmental policies, and keeping Bay St. happy, and they want to put Bay St.’s wellbeing over their partisan politics.’
  • Ontario schools to replace music class with reruns of 1990s Much Music videos

“That’s their business, not Canada’s”

Is Jim Carr, Minister of Screwing Up Industry talking about Bombardier or Kinder Morgan?

It’s a trick question, he said that about both. Last year McParland wrote the following hilarity that he got so very wrong:

The most ludicrous assertion offered in the wake of TransCanada’s announcement was Natural Resources Minister Jim Carr’s claim that it was solely a “business decision” that had nothing to do with the government. Yes, the decision was made on a business basis, but in the face of a regulatory and approval process put in place by a government more devoted to favoured voting groups than to the development and expansion of one of Canada’s most crucial economic interests. 

The government of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is more concerned about Quebec, environmentalists and Indigenous communities than it is about the potential fallout of lost investment and a moribund energy industry.

Don’t slap your knee too hard, you might bruise it, especially after you consider that Trudeau has committed no less than $4,500,000,000 of our taxes to Kinder Morgan so they get bonuses, which are a “business decision” according to Minister of Screwing Up Industry Carr. After the TMX is twinned, we’re on the hook for $15Bil. Oh goody.

The bonuses would give Kinder Morgan Canada president Ian Anderson and Trans Mountain vice president David Safari $1.5 million each in extra pay if they remain in their jobs until July 2020.

Would someone like to share how big the bonuses are for Bombardier executives after the federal bail-outs for their industry? Or, how big were they for General Motors after the 2008 financial crisis and their bail-out?

An official familiar with the GM deal told National Observer that the paymaster would have prevented the type of bonuses offered by Kinder Morgan. The source, who asked not to be identified, said that the paymaster also made it more challenging to recruit and retain top executive talent.

The Canadian government sold its shares in GM in 2015, before a general election, allowing then-finance minister Joe Oliver to balance the federal budget with proceeds from the sale. But taxpayers lost $3.5 billion on the bailout, the Globe and Mailreported in 2015.

Oh, so the Minister of Screwing Up Industry could have stopped the Kinder Morgan bonuses if he wanted to or cared about managing our gift to KM responsibly.

Bridge For Sale

Government Buys The Bridge.

size / dimensions: 36″ Diameter; 980 Km long

For sale: one pipeline project, in fair condition. Comes with federal approval. (subject to 15 legal challenges, but it’ll be fine). Also comes with a vintage 1950s pipeline.

The vintage pipeline is a handyman’s dream project. It has been in place since the 1950s and has only had around 70 spills – a great fixer upper.Nestled in a cosy right of way, with mountain, river and ocean views, and through prime agricultural and dense residential real estate in Vancouver’s red-hot housing market! Close to schools, day cares and community centres. (the neighbours can be a little loud, but we find it’s easiest just to ignore them)Buyers must be prepared to hold $500M in cash for oil spill liability, which we think is such a low likelihood that we haven’t even done any modelling.Asking $9B (CAD) OBO. Ask for Justin.

ADDED:

A Little Humour Too Much For The White House Press

The WHCD has always included a roast, so long as I can remember back to the W Bush years. Colbert’s roast of Bush is among my most favourite moments in history.

Anyway, Michelle Wolf did a great job of holding truth to power in a funny way, and some in the Press are having none of it. One wants a “singed” roast, but not too burnt. Well sorry, but if the media was roasting the crooked politicians like their jobs dictate, then comedians could stick to the simple light roasts.

Layin’ Pipe