This sort of bullying story should not exist in a budding police state, err, I mean civilized Canada. How are the “bullies” who assaulted this girl multiple times not expelled from school, and were never arrested and charged with assault? Harassment is illegal in Canada, as is the destruction of private property (her smashed flute, torn clothes, soaked school bag, etc.).
The incidents of bullying happened three years ago when the girl was a student at Fredericton High School.
In one incident, the girl called her mother in tears from the school. The mother left work and rushed to the school. She found her daughter huddled under a payphone. Students had ripped her shirt off and smashed her prized flute.
The mother said she had little luck getting help from the administration of the school at the time. She pulled her daughter out of classes and took time off work. She decided to paint her daughter’s room a brighter colour to cheer her up.
“I hit a ceiling tile with the roller handle and it moved. And out of the ceiling tile fell a box. It was a shoe box and in it were a bunch of notes that she had written about things — basically a journal on scrap paper about all the different people who had bullied her and how they had bullied her,” the mother said.
“There were broken shards of glass and razor blades. And it was her suicide box. It was a suicide box. It was a box that she was going to use when she couldn’t take it anymore. She wrote me an ‘I’m sorry letter,’ ‘I love you mommy you’ve been the best,’ and she said, ‘I can’t do it anymore. I can’t go to school; you’re making me go to school and I can’t be with these people anymore.’ And to know that the baby that you held in your arms was contemplating leaving the earth.”
(emphasis added)
The school’s principal should have been furious, not at the mother for hiring a body guard, but at the bullies for escalating their dysfunction to the point where a parent was desperate enough to do that. The school’s staff, and Fredericton police force (if they were called) were entirely incompetent and should be disciplined. (The school principal has since left the school, CBC reports.)
A school cannot be a sort of societal bubble where vicious crimes can take place against children (even if the perpetrators are other children). Residential school staff who abused First Nation children, are in many cases getting their legal comeuppance, and these wretched bullies, their parents, and the blind-eye staff are going to see their days in court too.
Saskboy's Abandoned Stuff 
I’m with you – there is no way that the bullies should have been allowed to remain at the school.
The question comes to mind…who where these kids? Some important people’s kids maybe?
Children of environmentalists probably. The bullied girl must have been a climate skeptic. Would explain the whole incident.
Really heartbreaking to read what this girl has gone through and that the adults (those every child looks to for protection) can’t seen to figure out how to prevent it.
If this were an isolated incident, we could chalk it up to one incompetent and insensitive principal, but there have been numerous similar reports in the media of schools that ignore or minimize bullying. How does this mesh with the “zero tolerance” policy for bullying that schools across the country have adopted? There’s a shocking amount of cognitive dissonance going on here.
Teachers can be worse bullies than kids. It’s like they ignore bullying because in their minds it controls other kids.
I still remember years ago meeting up with a principal from my old grade school. I scared the hell out of him in a parking lot, and when I was done, I asked how he liked being small, and frail, and incapable of defending himself against someone bigger than him. He wagged his finger at me telling me he was going to call the police, and I pointed out that he had that option, one I, nor my sister had when we were kids.
Well, I knew if I read this blog long enough I’d read a post that I 100% agree with you on. As a former teacher, nothing infuriate me more than this kind of crap going on in schools. Sadly, I’ve found that school administration talks tough but ends up doing very little. I know I had to fight very hard to get results at times. I ran into a situation once where I was assaulted and had the student charged. My principal and union of course were very supportive of my situation. I just wish people in positions of power would grow a pair and be as supportive of students I saw bullied. I think it is important to empower students so they know their rights and their options. And parents need to keep up the heat. Don’t put up with any crap. As in the army, go up the chain of command. If the school administration is clueless, write the superintendent….keep going all the way to the Minister if necessary. Hell, I’ve even seen a few parents write letters in the local paper asking why this crap is acceptable. It can be a tough fight admittedly and a lonely one perhaps as well. My son isn’t quite a year old and I hope he never has to deal with this issue. Any future bullies out there waiting for him will learn some harsh lessons if those in positions of power remain impotent. Call a little old-fashioned perhaps but you know what little bully, don’t mess with Dad.
Heartless though it may sound, cowering in fear and making a secret “suicide box” is an utterly pathetic and self-defeating response to vile harassment of the kind described in the story you referenced.
It’s a sad paradox that people who willingly allow themselves to be victims only further encourage the inexcusable behaviour of abusive bullies. To them, I say, stand up… fight back and don’t allow anyone to rob you of your dignity!
Too bad the parent in this instance decided instead it would be a brilliant solution to hire a dubious character to act as a “bodyguard” for her daughter. Right there, one should question the sanity of the parent involved and the paranoid mentality that perhaps contributed to the whole mess in the first place.
I think victim blame can only go so far unless you’re looking to create a vigilante society.
It’s become normal for the opposite to be created out of unstopped bullying and subsequent depression (Columbine style), so I’d rather see adults employed at the school stand up for peaceful children who are not hitting back, until they have the confidence to do so in non-deadly ways.
First of all, I wasn’t in any way suggesting a violent reaction such as that displayed by the warped sociopaths at Columbine who romantically imagined they were tormented outsiders free to wreak justifiable vengeance on those perceived to have wronged them in some way.
Nor do I subscribe to the notion that bullying is “unstoppable” – although it is most certainly an inevitable and unavoidable factor of the human condition. Rather, I believe that such reprehensible behaviour needs to be directly confronted on an individual basis… as potentially harmful and physically damaging as such encounters may be.
What I am however suggesting is that living in a state of irrational fear and pathetic self-loathing is a useless dynamic that – far from nurturing any sense of confidence – breeds more of the same and does nothing to address the problem of bullying. If anything it does the exact opposite. And yes, adults certainly have a powerful role to play here – both as witless enablers of bullies and victims alike. One shouldn’t overlook their influence in either regard.
I’d be most interested to know what specific factors singled out the kid in question to be the target of bullying… Fact is that we don’t know. The sketchy “news report” is woefully incomplete and therefore it’s natural to fill in the blanks with a convenient social narrative of our own device, complete with simply drawn villains and victims. Almost nothing however is that simple or straightforward.
“I’d be most interested to know what specific factors singled out the kid in question to be the target of bullying…”
We know because of human nature, that’s a possible factor that she rather than another were a target, but it’s supposed to be ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT in a society with a functioning justice system that can prosecute harassment and assault (AKA bullying). It DOES NOT matter if the kid wears pink, a funny hat, glasses, talks with an impediment, or is of a different height or sexual orientation, or if they continue to be after an initial bullying incident.
The story covers enough to know the school was at fault for not putting a stop to it, or thinking of phoning the police prior to the mother having to hire a body guard and then provide the service herself. What was her next option, after confronting the bully and parent in mediation? WHAT?
She didn’t think of the police as far as we know, or they didn’t offer to help.
Age the people ten years, and witness the same actions, and it’s completely obvious to most people that the police should be involved. I can’t go up to you, verbally harass you, smash your musical instrument, lock you into a confined space, and soak your belongings in a shower.
Studies have repeatedly shown that standing up to bullies, though it works great in Hollywood feel-good movies, actually makes things worse in the real world. Perpetuating a cycle of violence actually ups the ante so that someone ends up getting more hurt than they would have dealing with the problem in a more progressive way.
When I was in school, if someone did not stand up for themselves they were bullied even more.
Have to agree with Klem. Not that long ago some young punks thought it would be a good idea to bully the son of a friend of mine. They started it…….and I finished it. I have no qualms about marching back over to that house and reminding them either if they are stupid enough to entertain thoughts of being tough guys.
Darcy, as you demonstrated, it wasn’t your friend’s kid standing up, it was you, and adult. That’s the difference.
Ultimately, the situation ended. The poor kid doesn’t have to look over his shoulder anymore. Maybe my solution isn’t what one would be referred to as “politically correct” but in this case the ends justify the means. Problem solved.
And I don’t think it’s wrong of you to do it. It takes a community to raise a child, and a community to defend a child too.
I’d likely have handled it the same way Darcy.
cheers
Rather amazing (and hypocritical), your ‘principled’ stance on schoolyard bullying considering your active bullying within the climate community! :)
Do as I say not as I do?
How’s the retraction coming? Your heros are busy typing up theirs!!! ;)
Trolling unrelated posts does not make *me* look like the bully Red Jeff. I responded already where you asked.
His heros like Peter Gleick and the Desmogblog mob.
I’ve got my popcorn and beer ready, this is going to be good.
Oh Oh, try saying Desmogblog mob ten times fast.